Friday, November 1, 2013

Who ya gonna call? Not Ghostbusters!

I hope everyone survived All Hallow's Eve? After I left Boo's, I headed over to Ezra Ann's and grabbed a few Coors Lites out of her fridge and sat at the window watching little short beings going from house to house, holding out bags to whoever opened the door.  Then, whoever opened the door would place an unidentifiable object inside the bag, then the little being would run off to the next house. There were witches and pirates and race car drivers and even beings with sheets on their heads
with just the eyes cut out. I stayed invisible so they couldn't see me, but I wanted to know more about these strange beings and what was in their bags.

"Is that you, Henri?" I heard Ezra Ann call to me.

"It's me," I told her.

Ezra Ann laughed.  "Of all nights, Henri decides to stay in.  Don't you know what tonight is?  Don't get me wrong. I feel honored you would rather spend it with me, but shouldn't you be out there scaring people? Isn't that what you ghosts live for?"

Ezra Ann knew better than that.  I think she was trying to shake Henri's chains.  "Why are all those little beings out there going from house to house with bags in their hands?"

"They're trick-or-treaters, Henri.  Didn't they have trick-or-treating when you were a kid?"

"What is trick-or-treating?"

"Well, trick-or-treaing is what kids do on Halloween.  They play dress up and go to house to house and people give them candy."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that."

Twenty-first century mortals are a weird lot.

"It's a tradition, Henri."

"So who started this trick-or-treating?"

"I'm not quite sure.  Why don't you come sit by me and watch a movie?"


"What are you watching?" I asked, jumping onto the sofa sending Ezra bouncing like a kangaroo.



"Have you seen it? It's an old movie but it's so good. I think I've watched it a million times."

"Why would you watch it a million times?"

"It's just a figure of speech, Henri.  Never mind.  Just kick back and watch."

So, on All Hallow's Eve, I sat watching Ghostbusters with Ezra Ann while little beings roamed the streets outside.  Maybe I had too many Coors Lites floating around my belly but has anyone really paid attention to what this movie is about?

You have these so called ghostbusters who go around killing ghosts.  KILLING GHOSTS.  Okay, for one thing, ghosts are already dead so how much farther can you go with this?  So they have these big ass guns and once they shoot you with this stuff, the ghosts disintegrate.  Oh. Mon. Dieu. Holy Mary Mother of God.

The ghosts appear, fly around at lightning speed and ZAP.  GONE.

"Um, Ezra Ann?"

"Be quiet, Henri, this is the good part."

And that's when I went a little ballistic myself.  I started hovering.  That's what I do when I get upset.  I hover.  JUST like the ghosts in the movie.  THEY'RE HOVERING.

"Henri, settle down, you're distracting me," Ezra said, throwing a pillow at me.

"Don't you see what they're doing???"

"What are you talking about?"

"They're not even questioning who these ghosts are.  They could be long lost relatives for all they know!"


"They're zapping ghosts like it's no tomorrow and going around acting like they're hot shots. This disgusts Henri."

"It's just a movie.  Settle down.  You're getting ectoplasm all over the rug and I just cleaned it."

"Don't you even care?  Don't you see what this movie is telling people? That all ghosts are bad and they should be eradicated?  It messes up the whole scheme of things, doesn't it?  They are there for a reason and who gives mortals the right to say they no longer deserve to be in this realm?  It's just not right."

"I think you've had too many Coors Lites."

"I can see I'm getting nowhere with this.  You of all people should know where I'm coming from."

Ezra turned off the TV, much to my relief.  "Henri, you're going to have to get used to the 21st century.  There will be movies that don't make any sense but they're for entertainment.  I know and you know the real story.  That's why we as so called "ghostbusters" don't eliminate.  We communicate.  We help them go on to wherever they are supposed to be for their own happiness.  You know that, Henri. Even a confused spirit or what we'd call them 'bad,' deserves our help."

I sighed.  Ezra Ann had a good way of grounding Henri. 

"I think I'll go now," I told her.  "But one day I'm going to make my own movie and tell it the way it really is."

"You do that, Henri."

I bid Ezra Ann adieu, thanked her for letting me drink her Coors Lites, and headed over to Juicy's house to face the music.  One thing about Juicy, she hates television and for that I was very grateful. 

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